Chapter One
When you think about it, life goes by so slow. But when you don't think about it, it goes by really fast, doesn't it? My life went by a little too fast. I never got the time to be what I wanted to be and do what I wanted to do. I messed up really bad. I got pregnant at sixteen, dropped out of school, my boyfriend left me, and now I'm stuck with a three year old and I have to take her everywhere that I go. Luckily, I found someone who I was better off with, instead of that jerk! Looking for a decent guy is hard, especially when they like you but because you have a kid they trash you. They call you dirty names and they don't care. They don't understand what you've been through and it makes life harder and only gets harder. I'm Melinda and this is my story.
I never believed in miracles, never believed in love, never believed in sacrifice. I should have never believed in any of it, but still, I did. I was forced to. I saw the obvious but it wasn't so obvious. It was just the outside, not the inside, and it sure as hell, wasn't the truth. It was junior year and I messed up. I didn't know what to do, I was confused. I felt like cutting myself, felt like using drugs, felt like getting rid of the world and the burden that would soon be on my shoulder. But I couldn't. I couldn't let everything slip away in a second. I couldn't let everyone think I wasn't capable to know that I made a mistake because I knew I did and somehow I had to correct it. I couldn't kill what was inside of me like they all wanted me to do so I took it.
God somehow showed me the way, he somehow leaded me towards faith. It was too late when he did but he did it. I was able to believe in myself again and believe in the world around me. My daughter showed me what it was to love, what it was to feel something and I've never felt like that before.
Chapter Two
That day when we had done what we did to get where I am now, I was scared. I didn't really want to but as Ryan kissed me, I realized how much I wanted something. It kind of just happened. I freaked out before but he said it was fine. He said we could take our time so as he kissed me goodbye, for the first time he had kissed me hard and I didn't know what was happening.
A few weeks later I threw up in the morning, twice. I knew something was wrong. I immediately went to the doctor and found out that I was pregnant. My mind went crazy. I freaked out completely. A million questions were running through my head. I didn't know how to tell Ryan, I didn't know how to tell my parents, I didn't know if I should keep it, and I sure as hell didn't know where I'd end up. I was scared. It wasn't hard to see that.
All night that night, I was up thinking about how the hell to tell my parents. Then it dawned on me; I should tell them now. It makes perfect sense to do so. I got out of my bed and went across the hall to their room. I knocked lightly on the door. “Which daughter is it?” my mom asked.
“Melinda.” I answered.
“Come in sweetheart.” Dad answered.
I walked into the room, silently, and sat on the foot of the bed. “I've got something to tell you.”
“What's the matter, what's bothering you?” My mom had that concerned voice that she always has with us.
“I'm kind of...” I said in a low voice. “I...I'm...I'm...I...I...am...um...I'm...uh...I'm...”
“Come on, Melly, get it out.” Dad said.
“I'm...I'm pregnant with Ryan's baby. Ryan doesn't know yet and I don't know what to do. I'm scared, I'm upset, and I feel stupid.” I started cry. “I messed up...no I screwed up. I'm a shame to this family. You should hate me. I did a very wrong thing. I would understand if you told me that you hate me and that I should leave.” I got up to leave the room. Their reaction was different than I thought.
“We can't tell you that we hate you. Everyone makes a mistake sometime. You got pregnant, it's not okay, and we know that you know that. Just don't let it happen again. Are you keeping it?” My mom said.
“I don't know. I'm scared.” I replied.
“I say you keep it. You should get the consequences for your actions. Is it a boy or a girl?” Dad said.
“I don't know, I find out on the tenth of next month.” I told them.
“Well then go to sleep or call Ryan.” Mom said.
“I rather go to sleep, I'll deal with Ryan tomorrow, I promise.” I hugged them both and gave them each a kiss. They were the best parents in the whole world. They deserved something.
Ryan wasn't very happy. To be exact, he wasn't happy at all. What Ryan said, broke my heart and I felt really sick and that wasn't from the baby. I tried everything and he proved to everyone that he is what he says he is. I really thought he was different but I guess not.
I walked up to him and said, “Ryan, we need to talk about something.” I said it nicely and low and it wasn't a break up tone so he followed me when I walked away. “Promise not to scream or get upset or punch anything.”
“I promise, baby, what is it?” Ryan asked. His green eyes kind of sparkled when he looked at mine.
“You remember last Thursday don't you?” I asked him with a smile on my face.
“Of course, it was the best day of our lives, sweetheart.” He put his hand around my waist.
“Well...I'm pregnant.” I told him.
He looked shocked and upset and I didn't know what to do so I cried and he hugged me. But then he said, “How the hell could this have happened? Are you sure it's mine? It can't be mine. First of all we used protection! No...you're joking, tell me you're joking.”
I shook my head. “I'm not joking. I'm telling you the truth. I'm pregnant. It is your child. Everyone here knows you're the only boyfriend I've ever had.”
“Not everyone! Now I know why they call you a slut, a prostitute, a whore! You're trying to bring me down with you! It's not happening. You should just kill yourself Melinda!” He walked away and then look back. “Kill the child along with you! You both deserve to die!”
I stood there and cried. I wanted to run away, run out. I just wanted to forget about everything. I hoped it was a nightmare. But it wasn't. I started walking back to my locker when I noticed Drew was behind me. Drew heard the whole thing and he was also my best friend. “Hey.” I said still crying and trying really hard to dry them.
“Hey.” He put his hands into his pockets. “I heard what he said. He's a jerk. Why didn't you tell me? You know I'm always there for you.”
I pushed my hair behind my ear. “I know you are but I thought you'd be disappointed in me. I thought you'd say what he said.” I cried more.
Drew hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. When we pulled away, a very short distance, I saw Ryan standing there. I looked at him and he walked away. I didn't even think about going to run after him. “He's stupid, Mel, if he can't accept the fact that you and him had a kid and it was a mistake, then he's not worthy to be the father for your baby.”
“I guess it's over anyway.” I told him. “After what he said, I'm not in the mood to even speak to him about anything anymore. But now what will I do? I need help.”
Drew looked at me and I could see what was on his mind. “I could help. I could talk to your parents, tell them what he said, I've always cared about you but you never gave me the chance to explain. Now instead of explaining can I please have the opportunity to show you that I love you.”
I smiled. No one had ever tried this hard to get me. I nodded my head and off to class we went. It wasn't as easy for us, though. The name calling became stronger because Drew took Ryan's spot. I then had to drop out of school and couldn't be elected for homecoming and I missed that. I'd always help the underdogs stand up for themselves but now I couldn't.
I can't say it wasn't weird, because it really was! Getting fatter and having weird cravings wasn't exactly what I planned. I knew that I'd have to get fatter but seriously ice-cream and shrimp does not go together but somehow when I was pregnant to Skye I thought it tasted really good. The throwing up was the disgusting part. I really hated it.
Drew stayed in school for me and was even elected homecoming king in which he won. Surprisingly, I was elected homecoming queen and won. Drew gave me the crown and I felt special but wanted to know why they would elect me and have me win! Was it some kind of cruel joke?! I mean what the hell?! Did they think I was going to show up so they could make a fool out of me? I didn't. I knew that was coming so in my head I just said “Forget it. They're not worth it. Why fight over something so stupid? If they can't accept that fact that I made a mistake and that I know I made a mistake, they weren't worth it.”
A couple of days after homecoming I saw a couple of my “friends” they laughed. “Look at you.” Selena said. “You look like a fat pig now.”
“You know what?!” I told her. “You need an attitude change. What your mouth with me. Find your grip and walk away because one day God is going to get you for what you've done to me! You used to be my best friend, Selena, what changed?” I asked.
“You got pregnant, that's what happened. We warned you about Ryan, didn't we?”
Selena said.
I spaced out for a minute remembering how she said that he'd hurt me. I was standing against my locker waiting for him to come out from calculus so we could walk home together. “Waiting for Ryan again?” Selena asked.
“Yeah. Aren't I always.” I smiled.
“I'm just letting you know that you need to watch it. If anything happens, and I'm just saying if, he's not going to be behind you at all. He's going to walk away, Melinda.”
“Selena, you don't know that.” I told her.
“I do know that. I went out with Ryan last year. Melinda, don't you remember?” She asked.
I doubted her but I knew that he was a jerk last year. “But he's changed a lot since last year. I mean why can't you just be happy that he's treating me good, what wrong with that?”
“What's wrong with that is that it's not the real him.” I wanted to scream at her and she knew it. “If you're sure it's the real him, then why don't you take a look inside the classroom and see what he's doing.”
I did. I wanted to prove her wrong. I wanted to prove her wrong so bad. But she was right. I saw him kissing Jessica. I could swear that their tongues were most likely knotted together because he kept holding her tighter and tighter and he wouldn't let go. I don't know what happened afterwards. I cried on Selena's shoulder and said sorry to her. What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to yell at her and tell her that she planned it? I know she didn't and I know she wanted me to see what he was up to but still, somehow I just couldn't break up with him.
“Hello.” Selena said. “Are you still here? Didn't we warn you about Ryan?”
I looked at the ground and tears filled my eyes. “You did and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but why can't you just help me. Please. I can't deal with the stress. You're my best friend, Selena. Please just be there for me.”
“Did you dump him now?” She hadn't been in school for a while so I understood where that question came from.
“Yes. He called me a prostitute and said that the baby couldn't be his, so I just let it go and he walked away and Drew was there.”
“Drew loves you.” Selena interrupted.
“I know. He's my boyfriend now.” I replied.
“That's good because you know he'll help you and look, I'm sorry about what happened when you were with Ryan. You don't deserve anything like that. Melinda, you're like a sister to me and I realize that I really have to just be there for you. Just see what's there and don't get caught up in anything. You can call me if you want to hang out or just simply want to talk like we always did.”
This is exactly when it hit me, your real friends are going to be the ones that will be there for you and will help you. Your real friends are going to show you who you really are and Selena was exactly like that. We both knew that it was wrong, the way things went down.