Just last monday, this was the awful day...the day that my aunt was taken from me...she wasn't blood related but she was still an aunt to me. She was very close to me and she gave me hope when I had none, kept me strong when I thought I was going to give up. She was my musical inspiration...not sure if I have any inspiration left now. I am a first year in college and now, I am not sure if I can continue at the moment, I know that I need to but my heart is no longer in it. I remember when I told her that I made it in...she was so happy...so proud of me...she helped me to learn how to swim...*sighs* She was there a lot of the time for me. Gentle, but fierce at the same time. I didn't get to see her that much because of the fact that I was put in foster care and since she wasn't blood related I wasn't able to see her...I was very upset. There was a time when I ran away to her place from a foster home...lived right down the road from her hehe. She and I spoke and then she had to take me back to the foster home and then there was a time that I got lost from school and she took me to school and my foster mom slammed the door in her face when she brought me back from the school....I was not happy...there are so many memories with her..when I got depression from my grandpa's death, she always cheered me up...when I showed her a drawing of a little girl and a tiger, she told me that she wanted it...never did get to make a copy of it for her....*sighs* I miss her so much...everyone says that I need to move on that I am just dwelling in the past...I am not being healthy apparently...no duh is what I think...I will never be healthy as I have PTSD....among other problems...both mental and physical....it seems that it will never be the same without her. I know that I will have to get over the death eventually, it will take a lot of time though...a lot of time that I can not even calculate....*sighs* I will stop here now...before I cry.